Innaway-Rise

Muse - Knights of Cydonia

And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Naked Sun

Grizzly Bear - Knife

Here’s a crazy story from the recent NEW YORKER: THE CHAMELEON.  Dude continuously changes his identity, assuming roles of missing persons and whatnot.

speaking of other identities:

hahahahah har har

Here’s some random images from the internet that were sent to me:

this is funny, i’m sure accurate or whatevs, but who designed this thing?? the length should go on the Y axis and the girth on the X axis, seriously ya retards….think next time

simple, funny, whatevs

Now THIS!! This little snippet is comedy GOLD!!

i like it, smart idea, good execution, just falls a little flat after the first thought. saving grace? japanese.  frisky little pervs.

surprisingly not japanese (pervs) unsurprisingly american (too stupid to notice)

NYTIMES(today): Steal This Hook? Girl Talk Flouts Copywrite Law

YTMND:Let’s Get Retarded!

Hutchy -  Gas Prices! what a revolutionary, what a patriot.  

sexy screenname - not bad, maybe goes on a bit too long but finishes strong

Guy Catches Marlin With Bare Hands! I don’t care if this is real or fake, it makes me super happy

Oh, have you seen the MGMT website or their videos? it kinda bums me out it’s so much right up my alley. like…i should have made all of that, i’m just too lazy and ignorant to have done it. ughhhhhhh

MGMT website

MGMT-time to pretend video

totally mega

FRIDAY! ahhhh the life of weekend warriors.  I just had a coffee over at Williamsburg’s Hotel Delmano (who have just opened for daytime business, coffee etc and are making up for the loss of St Helens/1980 for you coffee nerds) and now my head’s abuzz all scatterbrained and twisted.  I’ve got some funny things on deck here:

possibly the most anticipated movie of the century, DONKEYPUNCH.  yup. that’s real. The UK wins again.  

On these shores we get:

AMERICA WE STAND AS ONE! killerrrrrrrrrr

I apologize profusely for this one, but the ending is worth it. It’s just a minute of terror is all. 

NEWS: NEW ZEALAND MAN SELLS HIS SOUL TO HELL

NEWS: COCAINE-PACKED HOMEMADE SUBMARINE SEIZED IN MEXICAN WATERS honestly? jeeez remember that guitar they tried to smuggle in made of coke? what’ll they think of next?

NEWSiissh?:USA TODAY spotlights our shenanigans w THE HOLD STEADY

aaaaaand that’s totally amazing.  

dimitri-thestud

you might’ve heard this one before, i think it’s been around for a while now but it’s pretty damn funny. makes me feel right at home in a sea of neurotic completely insane douchebags that inhabit NYC.  

Go to this site: http://www.phonesexpranks.com/

here’s some examples:

 

guess that’s enough for a bit. don’t forget about the fun things goin on this weekend
 

later

Bros, Brodettes,

it’s been a lil bit and I apologize. I was in Florida last week, hangin in a wild beach neighborhood, then over to my parents place and in Alabama a bit to see my cute grandma. While I was there I was super stoked to see the Blue Angels show and with the previous post, you’ve seen what came of that. The umbrella video is traversing the internet now, getting tons of hits and generally having a pretty good time in it’s posh new famous life. as of right now it’s got about 14,000 on youtube and some douche ripped it from there and reposted on break.com where it’s gotten 240,000 or so. It was on college humor and my favorite: Countdown with Keith Olbermann, “oddball”:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#25695931

i cant seem to get it to embed here for some reason, will work on it.

Florida was great, here are a couple fun photos:

and that’s what you do! watch hurricanes and play with guns. and bbq (not shown)

***

VBS vs The Hold Steady aired today, maybe it’s not what I expected but it’s still fun to watch:

The new Hold Steady record is killer, it opens w a Dillinger 4 reference and continues in a wordy rock n roll spiral to greatness. Some really smart, stellar writing involved.

***

NOW….let’s throw out some fun stuff now! what do we have…

NEWS: Robber turned out to be Dad!

summary: the mom dad and husband of a woman working at a pizza joint robbed the place while she was working!!!! so absolutely amazing.

Here’s a link to a video of the deal

NEWS: BAD DANCING LEADS TO ARREST OF PLYMOUTH MAN

NEWS/CULTURE?: COUPLE MARRIED AT WAFFLE HOUSE

NEWS/CULTURE?:PLAYBOY.COM FEATURES ‘THE GIRLS OF OLIVE GARDEN

this story resonates on a deep, personal level with me. Back in college my roomate, Ted and my neighbor Skot and I would occasionally go eat at the Olive Garden (da OG if you will) and continuously took advantage of the endless breadstick and salad deal that permeates the OG’s reputation (aside from, now, their shamefully unattractive, nearly nude girls online). While we enjoyed our Italian combo meals greatly we always noticed that we were only seated one one side of the split restaurant, after a few visits and some glances down the hall to the other side we assumed that they were ashamed of our appearance and sat us in the section with the other cretins who were drooling on the floor and letting their kids defecate in the seats. Collectively we decided it was time for a change, time to step up to the plate, to show THE MAN what we were made of. And so we donned our finest suits shirts and ties (pants and shoes too!) and stormed the OG gates. As the hostess began to seat us in the same damn section we’d been sitting in I stopped her and exclaimed “AHEM….excuse me but…I think we deserve to sit on the…OTHER….side today, thanks.” She gave me the most blank, albeit slightly confused look I’ve seen and said “ohhhhhkaaaaaay” and led us down the path to golden greatness. As we entered the gates of heaven and chicken parmigiana we sat down next to a man with his teeth on the table, a group clad in camouflage, babies flinging poo, and I might’ve even seen a hen running around. The moral of the story? Money might not be able to buy you happiness, but it might just get you a seat at a better Italian restaurant. the end.

I gotta go get a drink now w raincloud and the tattler. yall have some fun

CD

This concert is so damn good. I know you can just go on youtube and see this in the same order but I feel the need to push it in your face.  The part I didnt understand, and thanks Rob for the explain: Glaston’s a rock fest, Jay Z is the first rapper to headline, everyone complained-  noel gallagher being one of the most outspoken and what does Jay do? Opens his set with Wonderwall and leads into 99 problems, creating an international/cultural zing that makes my fingers tingle.  The rest of the set just gets better and better so take a chill pill sit back and have a nice time with him.

Not sure when I’ll get to update again as I’ll be in Philly the rest of the week so I’ll try to put up a larger sum today:

First up, little baby boy Ben Ritter got a QnA in Milk Mag and per usual I loved reading it because he peppers his written conversations with the same shit that spills from his brains including lots of “likes” some superfluous onomatopoeia and “decoder ring”.  

check out that interview here 

and while you’re at it check out his website benritter.com

and then if you’re still, like, really diggin his vibes then check out the blog, canweplease.

and enough with the ass munching.

What’s gayer than a rainbow? asks IUsedEverything 

roedawg and blackoutman outgay any rainbow any day. new hampshire will change a man.

The only thing gayer than a rainbow, I retort, is how loud I’m laughing and squeeling watching this. It may be a lottery commercial but uhhh…hangliding penguin anyone? sheesh that’s too cute.

Ol Zacky poo. dude’s just funny is all. Thanks Bryce 

is this even possible? i mean come on. maury’s such a dick!

Afrirampo music video! what the shit!!!

Afrirampo live!! keep your eyes peeled little ones, this is gonna be huge!

Thunderheist-Jerk It.  for those that know her, doesn’t she look like Stella? weird.

This is so good, all of it. i want that meat. i want those people!! i want that songwriting ability!!!

and lastly another YTMND incredible animation: Now You Have Fucked Up

oh, and before I forget I ripped off that title from Textual.  Go get yr titties rubbed by his sweet sweet sounds.

Heyo, I’m back in town. Just for a little bit though, Wednesday I take off to Philadelph for a bachelor’s party camping fishing extravaganza then Billy’s rehearsal and wedding thurs and friday.  

In the meantime, I’ve been wanting to compile this miniature miami history even though there’s still not enough online but for anyone who’s a fan of Torche you should know this.  The brief rundown:

Torche is the best band in the world.

the members of Torche were in sweet ass titty bands: FLOOR, Cavity, Shitstorm, Ed Matus’ Struggle, Tyranny of Shaw, and Pandabite and some others

Floor started in 92 with Steve Brooks(torche), Anthony(cavity), and Betty.  Juan Montoya (torche) was in it a bit as was good ol Matt Sweeting(asshole parade, strikeforce diablo, true north), eventually the lineup stuck with steve, anthony and Henry Wilson(cavity, dove).  later Drew Demaio(gus, strikeforce diablo, argentina) joined in on 2nd guitar.  Henry had DOVE, which put out an incredible split 7″ w floor and later an amazing full length after their demise.  

Juan was in Cavity and Ed Matus’ Struggle and had a project called Pandabite, which on one track had vocals from Damian Done(culture, morning again, as friends rust). 

Cavity also started around 92 with Rene and Dan, and later picked up Raf and Anthony(floor). They later included Juan(torche, EMS), Ryan and Henry Wilson(floor, dove).

Ed Matus’ Struggle began in 94 w Juan, Carl and Robert.  They eventually had Steve (floor, torche) and Mike Alen(Secret Service) and sometimes had Dave Lebleu(mercury program, textual). 

Rick from Torche was also in Tyranny of Shaw and now in Shitstorm and Mehkago N.T. Eric from Tyranny of Shaw now plays in Capsule. 

OK! I know there’s gonna be problems with that rundown, maybe some of it’s wrong. let me know if there’s anything to add or change. here’s some videos to compliment:

Cavity circa 96 (their newer shit was so good, not like this. oh, and hydrahead is rereleasing something, not sure what)
 

FLOOR

Torche covering FLOOR “assassin” then playing charge of the brown recluse

Torche covering FLOOR “iron girl”

DOVE

DOVE in nyc

DOVE at the Fest 3, Gainesville(represent!)

Shitstorm - “rent a cop”

Torche - “Safe” and “Mentor”
 

Torche - “Healer”

Another Torche!

and there you have it, folks. enjoy

There’s been a wave of videos on youtube of people syncing up classic children’s characters with metal/grind/punk whathaveyous.  Some are great, some are awful but it’s something strange either way.  Perhaps it’s just that the material is readily available and ripe fodder but it seems that maybe there’s something deeper to it, some incessant need to deflower their virginal, naive children’s shows.  Or perhaps it’s just that everyone realizes how silly and childish metal actually is and it’s a perfect combo? huh? who knows.  aaaanyways,  here’s some of em.  I’m sure there’s tons more out there:

Teenage Mutant Hardcore Turtles-  (Throwdown) This was one of the first to show up, and still by far my favorite.  Classic! The timing is perfect, the clip selection spot on, the jumping ninjas! the emulation of hXc dancemoves, the picking up change.  Just really well done.  

 Bert and Ernie go Brutal! - Again, this one’s done really well even if it’s just a shifting back and forth of frames.  The edits are solid and the timing is perfect.  
 

 

  Spongebob metalpants or something like that.  This one works but it aint as good.  I’ve never seen this show, so I have no connection to the mashing but as it seems the originalw as already metal related this doesn’t seem like much of a stretch.  There’s a couple good parts, but meh….reminds me though, where’s some ren and stimpy remixes??

A Muppet deathmetal special - Doesn’t match up perfectly, but not too shabby.  

ALF metal video - Something’s wrong with this one. Maybe just a bit too fast, edits not dead on etc. but hey..it’s A.L.F.! 

Thor - God of Metal   -  The same guy that made the ninja turtles vid made this one.  It’s good, for sure, but by not being live action with odd re-edits it just doesn’t hold up as well.  Nonetheless still a good editor.  
 

This isn’t a re-edit and therefore doesn’t really fall in with the rest of these, nor is it even metal but it’s just a killer clip! Belafonte!!  

i need some more of these, i know there are other good ones out there,  i just lost the links. 

Tonight is Swervedriver at Williamsburg Music Hall.  I’m sitting here queefing with excitement all damn day.  My greatest wish was that Chad Darby could make it up from Florida for the show so I could see him do that fist pounding super heavy metal guy thing the whole show, but alas…I’ll have to do it for him. I figure it would be nice for a few swerve videos to start the day off proper…

“never lose that feeling”

“last train to satansville”

“duel” road rash vid game 

“duress” live-last month

so stoked, let’s fly into space!!