Sorry so sorry it’s been a bit. Summertime, hectic schedules, party party party etc. breezy greasy, don’t blame the wind and so on

Oh, so a few things on the horizon: 

tonight: Steven Rojas’ birthday at Kingswood 121 W10th st.  let’s have a drink

Friday: anything? I’m staying in because

Saturday: Adidas Fanatic Soccer tournament, 12-9 Chelsea piers at 23rd Street. free booze, free food, come watch my break my hip and puke on it

Saturday evening: Matt Schoen’s Birthday party, at a yet unkown location, but best be warned

Sunday: MGMT&BlackMothSuperRainbow at McCarren Pool.  

Next week: Thurday: Vice Photo Show, N10th st., Dana’s going away party immediately after enids/matchless

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NYTIMES - In Paris, Burgers Turn Chic

Wacky Archives - Caught on the Throne!

UK METRO - Boxer dog adopts goat 

The Smoking Gun - Perps suited to a Tee

Bert and Ernie Gangsta Rap

this is pretty funny i guess. as a response to the death metal clip it works

YOOOOOO!!!! this is amazing!! what museum is this at??

The Phoenix intro.  I never saw this show but that’s one hell of an intro!!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 4 teaser!! oohhhh man I love this show

from FAILBLOG: snow driving FAIL! is that the steepest hill in the world and my eyes just can’t see it? so insane. other really funny fail videos here: http://www.youtube.com/user/failblog
 

FRIDAY! ahhhh the life of weekend warriors.  I just had a coffee over at Williamsburg’s Hotel Delmano (who have just opened for daytime business, coffee etc and are making up for the loss of St Helens/1980 for you coffee nerds) and now my head’s abuzz all scatterbrained and twisted.  I’ve got some funny things on deck here:

possibly the most anticipated movie of the century, DONKEYPUNCH.  yup. that’s real. The UK wins again.  

On these shores we get:

AMERICA WE STAND AS ONE! killerrrrrrrrrr

I apologize profusely for this one, but the ending is worth it. It’s just a minute of terror is all. 

NEWS: NEW ZEALAND MAN SELLS HIS SOUL TO HELL

NEWS: COCAINE-PACKED HOMEMADE SUBMARINE SEIZED IN MEXICAN WATERS honestly? jeeez remember that guitar they tried to smuggle in made of coke? what’ll they think of next?

NEWSiissh?:USA TODAY spotlights our shenanigans w THE HOLD STEADY

aaaaaand that’s totally amazing.  

dimitri-thestud

you might’ve heard this one before, i think it’s been around for a while now but it’s pretty damn funny. makes me feel right at home in a sea of neurotic completely insane douchebags that inhabit NYC.  

Go to this site: http://www.phonesexpranks.com/

here’s some examples:

 

guess that’s enough for a bit. don’t forget about the fun things goin on this weekend
 

later

Come out next Saturday to Chelsea Piers for the soccer games.  It’s always a killer time. I’m playin on the vice team this year, lord help me. I don’t remember the last time I even ran!

here’s some events happening in NYC this week

Thursday:

FRIDAY:

SATURDAY: 

John Ortved’s birthday party at 6th ward. although the flyer says the wrong date it really is this saturday. 

SUNDAY:

there’s a whole lot going on this weekend, and on sunday in central park Santogold, Diplo and Atrak are up, at McCarren Pool the Liars and Fuck Buttons are playing, but I’ll instead find myself at this here BBQ at 3rd ward.  

Lastly, and unfortunately they’re not making it to NYC but here’s the Jacuzzi Boys tour schedule w King Khan! If you live in one of these cities seriously don’t miss this.

Bros, Brodettes,

it’s been a lil bit and I apologize. I was in Florida last week, hangin in a wild beach neighborhood, then over to my parents place and in Alabama a bit to see my cute grandma. While I was there I was super stoked to see the Blue Angels show and with the previous post, you’ve seen what came of that. The umbrella video is traversing the internet now, getting tons of hits and generally having a pretty good time in it’s posh new famous life. as of right now it’s got about 14,000 on youtube and some douche ripped it from there and reposted on break.com where it’s gotten 240,000 or so. It was on college humor and my favorite: Countdown with Keith Olbermann, “oddball”:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#25695931

i cant seem to get it to embed here for some reason, will work on it.

Florida was great, here are a couple fun photos:

and that’s what you do! watch hurricanes and play with guns. and bbq (not shown)

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VBS vs The Hold Steady aired today, maybe it’s not what I expected but it’s still fun to watch:

The new Hold Steady record is killer, it opens w a Dillinger 4 reference and continues in a wordy rock n roll spiral to greatness. Some really smart, stellar writing involved.

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NOW….let’s throw out some fun stuff now! what do we have…

NEWS: Robber turned out to be Dad!

summary: the mom dad and husband of a woman working at a pizza joint robbed the place while she was working!!!! so absolutely amazing.

Here’s a link to a video of the deal

NEWS: BAD DANCING LEADS TO ARREST OF PLYMOUTH MAN

NEWS/CULTURE?: COUPLE MARRIED AT WAFFLE HOUSE

NEWS/CULTURE?:PLAYBOY.COM FEATURES ‘THE GIRLS OF OLIVE GARDEN

this story resonates on a deep, personal level with me. Back in college my roomate, Ted and my neighbor Skot and I would occasionally go eat at the Olive Garden (da OG if you will) and continuously took advantage of the endless breadstick and salad deal that permeates the OG’s reputation (aside from, now, their shamefully unattractive, nearly nude girls online). While we enjoyed our Italian combo meals greatly we always noticed that we were only seated one one side of the split restaurant, after a few visits and some glances down the hall to the other side we assumed that they were ashamed of our appearance and sat us in the section with the other cretins who were drooling on the floor and letting their kids defecate in the seats. Collectively we decided it was time for a change, time to step up to the plate, to show THE MAN what we were made of. And so we donned our finest suits shirts and ties (pants and shoes too!) and stormed the OG gates. As the hostess began to seat us in the same damn section we’d been sitting in I stopped her and exclaimed “AHEM….excuse me but…I think we deserve to sit on the…OTHER….side today, thanks.” She gave me the most blank, albeit slightly confused look I’ve seen and said “ohhhhhkaaaaaay” and led us down the path to golden greatness. As we entered the gates of heaven and chicken parmigiana we sat down next to a man with his teeth on the table, a group clad in camouflage, babies flinging poo, and I might’ve even seen a hen running around. The moral of the story? Money might not be able to buy you happiness, but it might just get you a seat at a better Italian restaurant. the end.

I gotta go get a drink now w raincloud and the tattler. yall have some fun

CD

I’m in Pensacola right now and was at the beach yesterday excitedly awaiting the Blue Angels airshow, knowing how stellar of a time it would be when all of a sudden the sky opened up and all hell broke loose.  SQUALL!!! you could see the sheets of rain coming down right at us.  Before any damage started we looked down at all of the umbrellas and realized that it was gon’ get ugly!  Before we knew it the flying began like in oz or something and umbrellas were shooting down the beach.  I snapped some photos and video and waited like a hawk until BLAM! an umbrella smacked a woman right over and trapped her beneath it.  I did say in the video “this is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever seen” in a moment of awe and inspiration, awaiting my seat next to Leno to repeat the same words but I unfortunately had forgotten about all of those wild spear and poison arrow wars we used to have as kids in the woods.  I totally forgot about Jimmy! sorry, dude. R.I.P.

We initially were laughing about the incident, then quickly felt bad when we realized it was an older woman and she appeared to be really hurt (she wasn’t).  Theeeen our minds changed again when we saw she was being helped back to safety but she firmly wouldn’t let go of her still-in-coozy-beer.  If you pulled yourself away from the brew for just a sec you might’ve seen your destiny come flyin right at ya face, lady!
 

HELP! I don’t get it! I was going through some videos because I wanted to do a super weird role playing, dragon/warrior/viking themed post and I came across these Hammerfall videos. I have no clue what’s going on with them or why they seem to be sponsored by Acuvue and Target, or why they’re Olympic themed. If Hammerfall is going to redo the Olympics theme song then AWESOOOMME but I really cannot figure these out, although I haven’t seen the ending of any of them..wait…nope that just confused me even more. Any metal head got an answer? 

Hammerfall - Hearts on Fire

Hammerfall - The Fire Burns Forever

 

  Hammerfall - Last Man Standing

here’s a new video of theirs, as you can see it’s not even that much better, but it does lack that certain (sponsored) flair, no?